MWH 231 : The Power of Playful – Simple, Practical and Playful Strategies To Get More Work Done at Home with Amy Cox

I have a bit of different episode for you this week, and I know you’re gonna love it. This workshop was such a huge hit amongst my Social Method Society Members that I knew I had to share it with all of my beautiful podcast listeners, too.

So what you’re going to hear today is an extract from a live workshop that took place in the Social Method Society that we turned into a podcast!

Amy Cox of Playful Families joined us as our guest coach for this exclusive bonus workshop. During this workshop, she helped our members discover the secret sauce to getting their kids to play independently whilst also helping them identify their non-negotiables and use them to make home time more productive, more playful and joyful for everybody.

Let’s get into it!

ABOUT AMY:

Amy Cox is a business owner and mother of four who runs her business from home. Before she had kids, she was an award-winning teacher.

Though Amy’s first business launched in 2014, Amy launched her online business in 2018 where she helps parents inject playfulness and connections into their lives. From 2016 to 2019, she was a play session facilitator for families with children. Over the course of three years, Amy has served hundreds of families from different age groups and set-up hundred play ideas for them.

ABOUT THE WORKSHOP:

This workshop is called “The Power of Playful” and during the workshop we’re going to be looking at simple, practical and playful strategies to help you get more work done at home.

During this workshop, Amy shares key strategies and simple little tweaks to help set-up a place in your home where your kids can actually play. She advises to use what you have at home to encourage meaningful play so you can get some work done!

Amy also helps mums recognise how important they are throughout this process. She even developed a system to teach mums to find a solution for their family and their family’s needs.

By the end of this workshop, you will discover the secret sauce to get your kids to play independently.

We’re also going to find your anchor words and we’re going to use these words to make your home time more productive, more playful and more joyful.

AMY ASKS: “HAVE YOU EVER HAD THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU NEED YOUR CHILD TO PLAY QUIETLY?”

If yes, the first step is not about what they’re going to be doing or where they’re going to be playing. The first step is to know how they are feeling.

Please note: You might find this strategy counterintuitive.

There are three things that children need to thrive: a caring adult, who unlocks their world and who gives it meaning. Our children are actually looking at us as their window to the world.

SECRET SAUCE: CONNECTION TO YOUR CHILD

Make your children feel like they belong and give them that feeling of being important. Kids are hard-wired for connections because they are social creatures. They have the innate desire to feel felt. Their primary goal is to feel connected to us, to feel a sense of belonging and to feel like they are important.

It is not about knowing they are important, but it is about feeling that they are important. Amy says, “In your child’s world, they have very, very limited control over what they do. You control their home. You’ve got all the control.”

Children do not have the aspect of control but there is one thing that they can control and it’s their behaviour. They can control the way that they behave and orient towards a goal.

The goal is to get mum to notice them so they can feel felt, so they can get that connection, they can get that attention and they can get that power. If it is not coming in a positive way, then any attention is good attention.

>>> KEY TAKEAWAY 1: START WITH HAVING 10 MINUTES OF ONE-ON-ONE TIME WITH YOUR CHILD (WITH NO DISTRACTIONS)

The strategy is to have a start time and end time with no distractions with your child. Embrace that special time and ask them what they want to do. Let them guide the play and get down to their level. It doesn’t need to be an extravagant thing, just play with what you have at home.

Let them know that they have that special time with you. Let them have the opportunity to guide you in that special time so that they can get their fix of connection. It makes them feel like they belong.

Amy shares that when you inject love into that initial time, the children are able to carry on the game for a little bit longer without you. The negative behaviour starts to die away. In turn, you can do other work and responsibilities at home.

Make this special time regular and predictable as it can. Having a regular schedule takes time to get established but it does not have to be perfect. Do what you can with the time that you have. Amy says, “Perfection is a unicorn, it doesn’t exist. Go with connection, not perfection.”

If you have multiple children, you can blend their favourite activities together or you can train your child to respect the special time of their siblings with you. Amy has a workbook about this method, which you can grab HERE.

>>> KEY TAKEAWAY 2: START WHERE YOU ARE (RIGHT NOW)

In order for us to be our best, most productive and highest version of ourselves, we need to start where we are right now and within the boundaries of what is happening at the moment. When you start externally, it starts to wear you down. Ask yourself, what can we do right now?

Amy shares, “Gratitude is truly the birthplace of joy. We will be more productive, happier and a more achieving parent when you see through the lens of joy. It’s not ‘I have to, but I get to.’”

Reframe your mind that you get to choose rather than you have to do the work without a choice.

SECRET SAUCE: FIND YOUR NON-NEGOTIABLE AND YOUR ANCHOR WORDS

When we talk about finding your non-negotiable, look at it and ask yourself, “What do you value the most as a family?”

Whether it’s simplicity, quality time, connection or cleanliness, put a reminder around your house about it that you can easily see.

Put Post-It notes around you as little reminders of your anchor words. Get these words stuck up around your house. If you find yourself reacting instead of responding to what’s happening, these little words around you can remind you to snap back to the person you actually want to be.

>>> KEY TAKEAWAY 3: BATCH PLAN YOUR ACTIVITIES

Recognise that there are many parts of your day that you potentially want to change. Adding too much on to what is already happening is going to wear you down and can easily become overwhelming.

Look for one time period that you want to run smoother as the flow of your day is affected by this.

The structure your day to what you have been doing with your children. Look at your to-do list and decide which activities you can batch. This will help you work really smart rather than doing several things in between. You can also set a timer to help you put a deadline on them. When time is up, then you are done. This helps you become more productive as you have a limited time frame!

Amy also shared that if you need to get more done but do not have the capacity to do everything yourself, outsourcing can help.

>>> KEY TAKEAWAY 4: DECIDE ON WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR TIME

It’s not “I need more time,” but “I need to know what to do with my time.” As business owners and mums at the same time, there can be many distractions that cause you to end up procrastinating. There are times that we tend to do something that comes easy for us and avoid the things that are actually going to move the needle in our business.

Sometimes when we find others doing something in their business, we think that we should be doing the same. But in reality, those actions may not be the right actions at that point in time for where we’re at in our business.

We’re conditioned to think that work has to be 9 to 5, Monday to Friday. But it doesn’t have to be like that. Break yourself out of these weird beliefs so that you can go to a place where you are able to thrive and feel so much better about yourself.

That’s why I love the Social Method because it shows the next best step for where you’re at. It’s written intentionally for people who may have only 10 minutes or half an hour to do something to move their business forward.

Don’t place your worth in the amount of time you are able to spend on your business on any given day. Release your guilt, girlfriend!

Q&A: When do you find that it is best to fit in homeschooling as well as the normal business batching?

Amy answers: “I can tell you what we do. I’ve started by noticing how my family is. I know their personalities, and I know the tricky parts in our day. So everything that we do is based on my knowledge of my family. I want to preface with that because I think it’s so easy to look and say, ‘That person is doing that so that’s what I’m gonna do.’“

There is no one simple solution for all situations, it depends on your unique experience.

Q&A: What age is suitable for independent play?

Amy answers: “An important thing to remember is that every time we interact with kids, we are teaching them something about themselves. If we’re always there guiding our kids and actually showing them what to do, then we’re training them to need us to be there to guide them.

Setting up the space with things that you know that they can do independently is important. Start with a game and letting them play lead. Then say, ‘Alright, I’m going to go get a drink of water, and I’ll be back in a minute.’“

You should encourage them to play on their own, but do it gradually. Start with one minute and then practice moving away.

WRAP UP

Remember, perfection is a unicorn and it’s all about connection not perfection.

Ladies, I really hope that what you’ve learned here today helps you make your home time less stressful. I hope it helps increase your productivity as a woman who’s running the household, potentially homeschooling right now, and running her business as well.

And, I hope it makes your playtime more joyful and purposeful.

I know that what we’re going through at the moment in light of COVID-19 is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. But what I do know is it can be easier when we choose to go through it together, when we choose kindness and we share our gifts and talents with one another.

Massive love to all you, stay well and stay safe! Protect your vibe and believe that you can come out of this bigger, better and stronger.

Until next week, stay happy in your household!

CONNECT WITH AMY:

Facebook: @PlayfulFamilieswithAmy
Instagram: @playfulfamilies
Website: www.playfulfamilies.com

CONNECT WITH ME

Web: www.mumswithhustle.com
Facebook: @mumswithhustle
Instagram: @mumswithhustle
Twitter: @MumsWithHustle
Biz Club: MWH Biz Club

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