MWH 232 : Creating A New Routine

The world looks very different at the moment, so this week’s podcast episode is all about creating a new routine!

Now, I know humans are not meant to enjoy change… In fact, our brains are designed to avoid it.

Our brains love to create shortcuts, they love predictability, they crave safety and familiarity.

So when COVID-19 struck and most of the countries we live in went into some form of lockdown or at the very least imposed restrictions on the very way we once lived, it was really difficult.

When that happened, some people used the word “grieving” to describe how they felt

And I get it… life has literally changed in an instant.

For me, when it happened, I was away on retreat with my Inner Circle Mastermind ladies and we were having a jolly old time in Sydney. But I felt when we came back that Friday night, the world as we knew it was completely different.

Many people I’ve spoken to, the women in my community, described the feeling as grief, like I’ve said. They are grieving what they had lost… the freedom, the privileges, and their routines.

Let me tell you girlfriend, it’s okay to feel all the feels.

Chances are, you have some big exciting plans over the next 6 to 12 months. But those things are now either not possible or they look waaaay different to how you had anticipated. I know some people who are supposed to get married this year. Even my sister! She’s supposed to migrate to Australia with her hubby and their new baby… But now, it’s not going to be possible for quite some time.

There are lots of things that are suddenly different right now. But what I want to say to all of you, my beautiful Mums With Hustle ladies, that it’s important to stay awake. Stay conscious to the fact that there are still many awesome things, many amazing opportunities, silver linings, moments of solitude and clarity to get excited about.

It’s also a great time to re-align with your own dream and your own vision for your life. You don’t have to throw those things away or even press pause on your goals or dreams because things have changed.

You gotta get up, and you gotta dust yourself off. Whether you have a business or not, you gotta find a new normal… for now.

My New Routine

One of the things that works for me is establishing a new routine. Keep in mind that it does take experimenting… it’s okay if the first routine you put together may not work for you or your family. If you’re interested in figuring out how to work while your kids play check out episode 231 with Amy Cox from Playful Families.

You may need to mix it up again!

Now, I’m gonna share with you how I’ve changed my routine. But first, I want to share the context of my situation.

My husband and I are both at home. And I know that not everyone has that luxury. Some people are solo-parenting 24/7 while some people have their partners at home not all the time, but only for a short period.

I also know people who have their partners at home, but feel like it’s a curse. One of my friends said that lockdown has clarified for her that she and her husband are not meant to be in the same space all the time. It’s causing more issues for them. They are definitely designed to be married and have a great relationship, but they also need to have time apart and go to their separate workplaces.

For more context, both of our boys (who are 3 and 6-year olds) are at home with us. I’m homeschooling the eldest. We also have no physical contact with family and friends. My mum is in a high-risk group, so we’re trying to isolate from her (even if it’s hard to do). We’re not really seeing anyone except for our fambam of 4.

I’m sharing all these contexts with you because it can sometimes be really tempting to be able to listen and immediately start comparing your journey to mine. Some people will start thinking that things are easy because of the differences in our situations.

Step Away From Negative Thought Patterns

If these thoughts start coming up for you, you need to stop them because you’re already focusing on a thought pattern that keeps you stuck. These are thoughts that make you powerless and keep you at a disadvantage.

Who will ever achieve anything in their dreams if they operate from a space like that?

So what works for one person, may not work for you… But be open! Take a deep breath and promise yourself that you’re not going to compare yourself to me or to anyone else for that matter.

When we slip into that space of comparison, we’re being judgers. And when we’re judging others, we’re actually judging ourselves. We start saying that things aren’t possible for us because we come up with reasons, we look for an out, and we keep on making excuses.

And what follows closely behind judgment? Shame. When you get into the shame spiral, it’s a much deeper and darker hole. You don’t want to go there.

For the rest of this episode, I want you to focus on you. Focus on what’s possible for you. Maybe the ideas I’m sharing will work for you and your family or maybe not.

Take what works.

Are you ready? Let’s get into it.

My 3 Go-To’s In My New Routine

I’ve chosen these 3 go-to’s in particular because I’m A) conscious of time and B) these 3 really are game changers for me.

1. Self-Care

My self-care has not slipped, and I’m so proud of that. It’s no easy feat. It takes being really intentional about self-care during the best of times. But right now, I’m being more intentional about my own self-care, what it looks like, and giving myself permission to have it.

What I have done is… I kept up with my two pilates classes per week. They’re now online classes, but I’m still showing up with my pilates mat and my pilates clothes. I’m doing the workout with my coach online!

In order to make this happen (since I have kids at home), I’ve had to be flexible with screen time.

The boys are having some screen time, and I try to make it purposeful. We try to opt for something educational or teaches them social skills but it’s not always that easy. Sometimes, it’s only for their enjoyment.

My pilates class goes for 40 minutes. So they know that when pilates is happening, they are allowed to watch TV.

I give myself permission not to feel bad about that because this 40 minute class allows me to show up better for myself, for my husband, and for the women I coach and mentor.

When I do this, I am just a better person overall, my well-being, my mood, everything.

It’s also for my physical health. Moving your body everyday, even if it’s just 7 minutes or 40 minutes long, is necessary for your wellbeing.

I used to feel so anxious to do anything for myself including practicing self-care or exercise. So if that’s you, I get it. Start small! Even for a short 5 to 7 minutes. Set a timer and get it done.

Know that when it’s for your health and wellbeing, it’s not selfish. It’s a great thing you can invest in for your children. I lost my dad when he was 46 years old, and I know that I want be around for my boys much longer than that. So valuing my health is a priority for me and this whole family!

I hope that you are making health a priority for yourself, too.

2. Meal Prep

The second part of my routine is all about meal prep, freezer meals and once-a-week takeaway meals.

Last month, I went live on my Facebook page with my dear friend, the freezer-meal queen and successful entrepreneur, Tricia Callahan. In this training, she dived into teaching around meal prep and meal planning. >>> Here’s a link to our live training if you want to check it out.

Why meal planning? For me, when you’re planning 3 meals or more a day to feed your entire family and you shop less frequently (since we’re trying to social distance and we can’t go to shops all the time), meal prepping has become more challenging than ever before.

But there’s a way and it can even involve more quality family time! It can also save you time in cooking, save you money, make your family eat healthier and also make your kitchen stay a lot cleaner… Less time in the kitchen = less mess.

Another thing I love about not having to cook every night at witching hour* means I can become more present with my kids when energetically, they just need me. When I’m with them, it leads to a much calmer household.

*Witching hour is that time roughly between 4PM to 6PM when children seem to become super clingy, they want more snuggles, and everybody seems to lose their marbles a bit and kids are more irritated.

Here’s another free resource from Tricia that you can use. It’s pretty awesome!

3. Renegotiate Work Hours

Hubby and I both work and we both need our own time to work. Figuring out when we are working and when we’re looking after the boys, we had to renegotiate with each other.

I opted to work at half past 9 in the morning until 1PM, Monday to Friday and he’s generally working from 1PM to 5PM (which is very different before COVID-19).

So, I’ve got to be really clear on what is my most important work. I’m not doing busy work… If it’s not purposeful and it’s not leading to a big outcome, I’m not doing it. There’s also no time to procrastinate and no time to fluff around.

Time is precious. So you need to get the needle-moving work done.

My ladies in the Social Method Society knows what that is. Needle-moving work is something that moves your business forward.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the endless list of to-do’s and if you’re experiencing the pressure to be a mum, a wife, and all the other things, please try to provide some time to have an honest conversation with your spouse and partner.

Share the mental load with each other and get it off your chest. Have an open conversation about issues that are on your mind, your roles in the family and your respective careers in business. And then, have an honest conversation about your goals and what’s important for both of you. Finally, see if you can find the time when you can work.

You can work on weekends or at night time. Be flexible with your own work hours. It might have changed from what it was to what it is now. But you can more likely find some seamless time to work after having that open conversation.

What becomes more increasingly important is not to let fear control you.

Do not fall into procrastination. Just do the needle-moving work. When you do that, you often realise that you don’t need as much time as you might have initially thought.

Your goals matter, your dreams matter, go get them.

Words of Wisdom From Women in Biz

Before I wrap this up, I want to share some words of wisdom from very switched-on and supportive women in business. These women are members of the Social Method Society. They are unapologetic when it comes to going after their goals. They are really inspiring women!

Kate Patch from Heritage Blankets – Her piece of advice is to “Change up your environment. Work outside if you can or spring clean a room.” This is such a great tip. Change your space up a bit, maybe even spruce it up. See if you can create a nice work space in your own home where you feel inspired!

Hayley Wells from Calm Space Collective – Her advice is to “Take it one day at a time. One step, one action, wear one hat a time.” Take small steps everyday, because these small steps add up. Beginning now, you’re gonna be 365 steps forward versus the person who decided to stop moving forward because things got hard.

Petrea George from Birdie and Lace – Petrea suggests that you should, “Focus on your future. Write down your goals. What do you want and when do you want to achieve it? Be clear and figure out a timeline.”

Afterward you write down your goals, take time to meditate, exercise and just chill out. Ring family and friends. Know that this current season, this weird time that we’re in, it will end. If you stay focused now, you’re going to be ready to go once it’s all over.

Bianca McKenzie – Bianca’s tip is that, “It’s okay to make things a little easier on yourself and do whatever you need to do to get yourself through the day. Even if that means a little more time on TV or YouTube, a walk around the block, or asking your partner for support.”

WRAP-UP

Thank you ladies for sharing your wonderful ideas! And thank you so much, my love, for joining me on this episode.

I would really love to hear how you have changed up your routine. How are you staying motivated to grow your business even in the midst of this change that we’re all facing?

Jump onto your Instagram Stories and share this episode if you feel like it’s going to be helpful to the women in your audience. You can also comment on my posts and let me know what you’re doing in your routine! What are your non-negotiables? I’d love to hear from you.

Take care of yourself. Stay healthy, stay inspired, and stay happy in your hustle.

CONNECT WITH ME

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Facebook: @mumswithhustle
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Twitter: @MumsWithHustle
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